HOW THEY MET...

HOW THEY MET

This is the detailed analysis of how the members of the Sanderson Times Society came together. It all started when Otis Terry Sanderson was in aisle 8 of Price Chopper, the candy/chips aisle. With two bags of Tostitos in hand, a bag of Sea Salt And Cracked Pepper Kettle Cooked chips, and some Bold Chex Mix, Sanderson was debating snagging a can of Pringles for the ride home, but he just couldn’t pull himself to do so yet. It was still too early. So he wandered a bit further to the candy section where he was about to grab a bag of peanut butter M&M’s, when he tripped, and fell in love. A cute young girl helped him up, and scrounged up his bags of chips off the floor and handed them to him. Their eyes met, and he new what he had found. He found a true love. He found a new writer for his newspaper. He found Carrie Oakey.

She loved reading his writings, and she loved his humor. After reading many of his previously unpublished articles, she developed her own style of writing, but could only write about passionate subjects. Together they wrote a great deal of fabulous, funny articles. One day they were out for pizza, one of Carrie’s favorite foods, and while sitting in at a table, Carrie accidentally dropped a pepperoni. It all happened in slow motion. The pepperoni fell from the pizza, nicked the edge of the table, and twirled end over end on the way to the ground, when suddenly, a finger came out of nowhere, snatched the ‘roni like a salamander snatching a fly, and the finger returned with the pepperoni to the guy at the next table over, who calmly ate it. And that’s how Luther Brewster joined the team. Sanderson started chatting it up with Brewster while Oakey just sat, astonished, not so much at what she just saw, but at the size of that finger. After several dreamy thoughts ran through her mind, she finally snapped back to reality and joined the others in conversation, and Brewster became the third solid member of the staff.

A few days had passed, and the three had really begun to grow excited about this “newspaper” they were working on. Sanderson and Oakey were firing off articles, while Brewster listened, laughed, and got a feel for the project. He decided to pitch in and help out, not so much by writing his own, but by offering tips and designing a cover for the paper. After all, it is pretty hard for a guy to type when his index finger is the size of a youth baseball bat. So they wrote and discussed and laughed, and one day while walking by a local gym, a 6’2” hockey player came out with a cut off on, and accidentally knocked Carrie over. He politely excused himself, apologized, and picked up the article for her that had flown out of her hand. As he handed it back, he chuckled after catching a glimpse of it, and Oakey told him he can have it. He read it right there on the spot, continually laughing, and begged to read more. And that’s how Rufus Feldmore entered the fray.

Rufus was invited over to Sanderson’s for pizza and fingers of chicken that night. He read some articles, then read some more, and finally hopped on the computer and wrote one of his own. It was remarkable. He became the fourth member of the Society, and never looked back. He fit right in. In fact, Feldmore asked the crew to join in for a drink at the bar to celebrate his induction. Because of Oakey’s age, they decided having a drink during the afternoon would be their best bet, as Oakey was not able to get into bars. So the crew headed to Peabody ’s that Sunday afternoon to watch some football. As they were about to enter, a commotion took place at the door, and the bouncer, Coach Vern Harrison, threw out an angry and belligerent drunk customer. It was 12:52pm, just about time for kickoff, and Yashur Al Fuquer was already beyond wasted, and was banned from the bar. Being good citizens, the crew brought Yashur along with them to the Green Room to watch the game, as it was way too cold for someone to pass out outside. They plopped Yash in the corner, and ordered some pizza, some wings and some Brews to watch the game. The next thing you know, it was halftime, and Feldmore got up to order another round consisting of three Coors Lights and an apple juice, when he realized that the drunkard was no longer in the corner. They searched the bar, and didn’t have to look far. They found him all by himself dancing on the dance floor. He spent about as much time on the floor as he did on his feet, but he had a second wind. When the game started back up, then invited him to sit with them, and wouldn’t you know, that’s how that crazy Fuqer became part of the clan.

He enjoyed the articles he heard, and he wrote some of his own, and he was now a valued member of the Society. He went along with Sanderson, Brewster, and Feldmore to pick Oakey up from school one day, when they heard music coming from the next classroom over. Yashur wanted to check it out, as he had already downed a twelver and was ready to cut loose. They peered through the doorway, and the teacher was all by himself jiving his hips to Shakira. As he spun around, he noticed he was being watched, and bashfully stopped the music and went to explain himself to the on-lookers. As he approached, Yashur aggressively went at this teacher and started backing it up on him, then turned around and swiped his credit card on the poor guy. Sanderson, Feldmore, Brewster, and Oakey apologized for Yash’ misbehavior, and invited the man over for some pizza. He kindly accepted, and that’s how Mr. Stamford Branch became the sixth and final member of the Sanderson Times Society.

He read their work, he stunned them with writings of his own, and together they decided to go public. Their collaboration of wonderful literature is available online for viewing, and they even have their own clothesline. To see the works of these famed six, please visit http://sandersontimes1.blogspot.com/


Chief Staff Writer, Otis Terry Sanderson
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