The Night Before Christmas (The Brew Edition)

The Night Before Christmas (The Brew Edition)

Twas the Night Before Christmas, when all through the bar,

Not a creature was brewing, not even Jim Carr.

The shot glasses were hung by the liquor bottles with care,

In the hopes that 6 studs would soon be there.

The ladies were nestled snug in their beds,

With visions of Matt Dickson dancing in their heads.

Gebhardt with his beer and I with my rum tart,

Had just settled down for a game of beer darts.

When out on the street, there arose a great tizzy,

As the brothers Rivers shouted, “It’s time to get busy!”

“Gather up Norton, Gather up Dickson,

It’s time for some jack and cokes for us to be fixin’!”

I sprang from the couch along with Chris,

“To the bar!” Jeff shouted, his brew pals he did miss.

Away to the corner of Margaret and Clinton,

For some girls tonight are bound to need stickin!

It’s time to get drinking; it’s time to take a chance,

As Matty Rivs threw on some tunes and Patch rocked the Dino Dance.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

Then an open bar in Green Room with unlimited beer!

I knew this a sign, I knew it was fate.

“Let’s get to it boys. This should not wait!”

As Mikey Rivs shouted, “They have Coors! I’m so hyped”

And Gebhardt shouted, “THEY HAVE RED STRIPE!”

As five of us stood out on the town,

“Where’s Jeff?” Dickson shouted…Must be getting down!

In the Old Chi Booms within a breeze,

Jeff cutting rug on some 38 C’s.

Already hammered and with no one around,

Jeff began his big attempt at trying to get down.

He thought of a good line to get a girl flustered,

“Hey girl! You bring the doughnut and I’ll bring the custard!”

The girls were shocked. “Who is this trying to mack us?”

No problem says Jeff; It’s time for Muster Practice.

Back to the bar, with a fist load of cash,

Where Michael Rivers was creeping on ladies quick as a flash!

“I know you like Dickson. He’s the stud of this crew,

But my bed is warm, and I’ve got tons of brew.”

So Mike has his girl and Dickson has many,

What’s Matty Rivs up to? His sweatpants are ready.

Why he’s rockin the jukebox and all you can say is “Wow!”

Cuz he’s thrusting his hips to “I Think We’re Alone Now”

Gebhardt’s in the corner, throwing fist pumps without care,

And of course the ladies think he’s cute, like a little teddy bear.

This party is jumping, without any doubt

Because of six studs who were boozing with clout.

The music, the ladies, and of course the alcohol,

Should make this a great night for one and all.

Now it’s off to Bono for some pizza with cheese,

Cuz it’s Cootaman’s favorite, 2 slices for him please.

Soon we’ll all head home,

Mike with Teresa T.And Matt you know, he’s with Haley Trombley.

And Gebhardt, will soon be home to turn in,

Cuz you all know, he’s the one with Ali Pellerin.

Dickson got his girls, without any clutter,

Which leaves Norton and Patch and some BUMPIN TURD CUTTERS!

Yes, it’s quite a crew, the P-burgh six,

But they’ll all soon be back for drinkin’s their fix.

Cuz this is the tale of these guys and one thing is clear,

That these boys can sure drink them some beer.

And if listen close tonight, you’ll hear a great cluster

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD MUSSSSSSSSSTERRRRRRR!

Once you POP, you can't Stop...

Stamford Branch