**APPLICATION**

December 18, 2008

Applicant's Name: O'nohie Diddent
Position Desired: Entry Level Writer for Sanderson Times
From: Harlem, New York
Ethnicity: Darky, Black, "Ethnically Challenged"
Previous jobs: KFC Harlem, NY October 2008-December 2008
Reason for leaving: Bein a baby momma for three daddies requires a lot of my time.


SAMPLE ARTICLE
I would like my article pieces to be letters to the paper, similar to Cheers and Jeers in the Press Republican. It will represent the more hood side of the Sanderson Times, and let out all sorts of dirty little secrets.

SWEETS AND SCOFFS
Sweets to Carrie Oakey for baggin the flyest shorty around, Ali P.
Scoffs to Carrie Oakey for looking 12 years old.

Sweets to Otis Sanderson for pounding Cogniac, knowing he's going to vomit in 2 seconds.
Scoffs to Otis Sanderson for sneaking into the Saranac Middle School dance to try to hook up with girls.

Sweets to Yashur al Faqur for going out 7 straight nights, and not knowing how he got home.
Scoffs to Yashur al Faqur for going out 7 straight nights, and not knowing how he got home, but deucing himself.

Sweets to Stamford Branch for almost being done graduate school,
Scoffs to Stamford Branch for having the most well known minivan in the United States.

Sweets to Rufus Feldmore for bringin home 5 different shorties last night,
Scoffs to Rufus Feldmore for giving gonorrhea to 5 different bitties last night.

Sweets to Luther Brewster for travelin all over the East Coast with his ball and chain,
Scoffs to Luther Brewster for stealing his own brother's shorties and having the most creepy index finger known to man.

Sweets to Randy Lozier for being funny and outgoing,
Scoffs to Randy Lozier for never looking me straight in the eye.


Giving you the word on the street,
The Late Night Special,
O'nohie Diddent