Boston, MA (AP) – It was a quiet morning in the suburb of Brighton, just outside of Boston, MA. The birds could be heard chirping, the vehicles could be heard splashing through puddles in the middle of the streets. There was a cold, brisk breeze gently grazing the faces of the small community as they stepped out of their buildings and headed for work. This, however, was no ordinary morning. There was an empty feeling, a genuine sadness associated with this particular morning. Local town drinker and fan favorite Carrie Oakey was no where to be seen.
It was reported that well past midnight in the dark, isolated town of Plattsburgh, New York, surrounded by trees, mountains, and slush, young Carrie Harry Oakey was just arriving in his hometown for a nice five day getaway. Fans were lined up several people deep as the car approached the Oakey household. Banners were waved, flags were flying, bells were ringing, horns were honking, and young men were grabbing the random shorties next to them and pulling them in as the perfect excuse for a celebratory kiss, as the local hero had arrived safely through the treacherous weather. “I’m just glad he was able to make it through the mountains and rain and get here safely so we can start cuttin’ and brewing,” exclaimed a relieved, yet ecstatic Otis Sanderson. “There was word for a couple of weeks now that Carrie would be making her way back here to be with us and the day has finally come!” as he downed a brew can and crushed it on his forehead. Whereas back in Boston the mood was depressed and gloom, Plattsburgh, NY had just become bouncing and alive upon the arrival of the cutest boozehound in the Northeast. Family members, friends, townies, worshippers, even strangers were jumping with joy as the car pulled up and out stepped the young, cute, happy Carrie Oakey. “It was a long ride.” “That’s what she said” was heard in the distant as fans were yelling and screaming upon every sentence spoken by their childhood hero. “But you know what, I did it!” (40 second applause) “Knowing that there would be cold booze to be drunk and bitties to stalk me again as I walked through the streets of my old hood was my motivation to keep trucking and make it here alive,” announced Oakey to her fans with a finishing fist pump!
In downtown Plattsburgh, there was only one man around who was unable to make it up to the West End to see the arrival of his best bud. The lone brewer was available for comment from his barstool at Peabody’s. “Yeah, he made it safely. Great. But I’m not celebrating until the trip home is complete. And that’s not going to happen until Carrie gets her sweet deuce downtown, shoots 5 straight tequila shots, and downs 10 beers with me,” explained longtime friend Yashur al Fuqur, as he wiped the drool out of the corner of his mouth while tumbling off the stool.
In other cities, as Plattsburgh was erupting with happiness, Albany, New York is setting up its parade-like ceremony for the following morning, as young Rufus Feldmore will be set to take off and leave his friends behind for the holidays, only to join other friends in the ‘Burgh region. “It’s more of a sad, farewell parade, as I’m leaving them all,” said an arrogant Rufus Feldmore. “But you know what, they’ll be okay. I’m sure each family has an empty place set up at its Thanksgiving dinner table in memory of my absence. And an extra keg in case I come back to surprise them,” said a cocky, rugged Rufus, as he went on about the parade that was about to be thrown in his honor.
“From my comprehension, the generally feeling of this Thanksgiving week in 2008 is that one city’s loss is another city’s gain,” explains fellow brewer Luther Brewster. “Score two points for Plattsburgh this year.”
Associated Press Intern,
Luther Brewster
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