Plattsburgh, NY – In the olden days, he was referred to as Saint Nicholas, or St. Nick. In French, he’s referred to as Papa Noel. In modern day English, he’s referred to as Santa Claus. In Plattsburgh, he’s referred to as Otis Sanderson.
High school Key Club star and Modified Bowling “extra” Otis Sanderson has recently filled a position in the Champlain Centre North mall in Plattsburgh, NY as the big ole jolly good fella. Although he applied last year, and was told that “the position has been filled,” there was no St. Nick in Plattsburgh last year. “It’s unacceptable,” cries Sanderson. “This is about the kids. They need to see him to believe in him. Something’s going to have to change this year.” And Sanderson’s determination was enough to bring the father of Christmas back to the ‘burgh. “They flat out lied to me last year, and the kids didn’t get to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what they wanted. I had to make a stand this year,” says Sanderson, with a big grin on his face. “It’s not about me. It’s about bringing joy to the faces of the youth of our community,” he replies.
“We all know he’s just doing it to get little girls to sit on his lap,” replies Luther Brewster. “I’m not sure if he’s trying to get the kids or the moms, but I know that’s why he’s spending his afternoons volunteering to be Santa. He did do Key Club, so there’s that slight possibility it made an impact on him and he still wants to give something back, but I’m pretty sure it’s just to have girls sit on his lap.”
“Maybe he just wants to be in all the pictures,” suggests long time friend, Rufus Feldmore. “I mean, he was Waldo for Halloween, so he was in all kinds of pictures then. Maybe he just has a weird thing or obsession in being in as many pictures as he can? I know I used to have my picture taken with Santa, and with the technology of today, cameras can do wondrous things. I bet he just wants to be tagged on facebook in random people’s pictures.”
“I don’t know,” says naïve, little Carrie Oakey, “he does seem to have a lot of Christmas spirit. I recall many times on the cruise when we’d walk by a bunch of girls and he’d whisper to me, ‘ho, ho, ho,’ and that wasn’t even in December! Also, I think he really likes elves, cuz he likes his girls flat and young, and I’ve never seen a busty elf before.”
When asked what he’d like from his good friend Otis “Santa” Sanderson for Christmas, Yashur al Fuqur replied, “A bottle of Captain, some J.D., a bottle of Jager, another handle of Jack, and some Bud Light.” “Gee, how’d I guess?” replied a dry, sarcastic, unenthused Santa.
When asked what he’d like from his good friend Otis “Santa” Sanderson for Christmas, Stamford Branch replied, “I’d like a date,” accompanied by a wink. “Or maybe a heart to give to my date.” Santa took it the wrong way, and thought Patch meant a date with him. “What do I look like, the Wizard of Oz,” shouts Sanderson angrily at Patch, who’s now shaking trying to hold back tears. “F---! Grow some nuts, get your own date, and don’t ever talk to me again!”
Sanderson was fired for his sudden outburst during which he made one of his customer’s, Patch, cry. For three and a half hours, Sanderson was on top of the world. He enjoyed his reign as Santa so much that he claims he’ll continue to spread cheer and joy, despite the fact that he’s no longer getting’ at Mrs. Clause. In fact, if you don’t believe it, go sit next to him at the bar, tap him on the shoulder and say Merry Christmas. He’ll probably buy you a beer.
You’ll be able to find him right next to Yashur al Fuqur.
Staff Writer, Otis Terry Sanderson
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