ODE TO A CREEPER

Volume 3 – The "Long Fingered" Edition


Luther Lloyd Brewster, yes he's got a twin,
"I'm still the better looking one," he says with a grin.
He has a singing voice like Andy Bernard,
And the physique and body of a Greek god.

He has extensively long fingers, especially the index,
When it comes to plowing ladies, he never wears latex.
"Who needs protection? I just like to get laid."
Are you really that sure Luther? Cause I think you have AIDS.

To prey on girls is his favorite past-time,
He pushes all his friends' hopes to the back of the line.
Yashur says, "It doesn't matter who's doing the work,
He'll step right in and take your girl, that jerk!"

It's all fun and games for this master of felines,
He'll take his brother's girl, even the mime's. ß Patch
If she walks, talks, and breathes, you better be careful,
Cause this guy is making "creepy" look art-ful.

The girls all buy it, his friends all sigh,
"I'm 21," Linda said with a lie.
There he goes again, snagging a broad by the pool,
Although she has no idea, being underage is one of his rules.

He does it with a swagger, with his collar popped high,
But he does it with kindness, pretending he's shy.
They have no idea they're in special company,
A sexual offender, when they know, they flee.

He likes his girls like his food,
Simple and nude,
No need for condiments,
And we don't pass judgment.

We all still love him, even though he can touch the moon,
With his creepy long fingers, how far they protrude.
He'd steal our girls, probably even our wives,
But he's still a good friend, a best friend for life.


~Chief Staff Writer,
~Carrie Oakey