CHEERS TO THE PIMP

Rufus Chucky Feldmore is his name,
Slaying girls gives him fame.
To him, it’s simple, never a fight,
To the ladies, it’s simple, love at first sight.

Those rippling abs and those mighty pecks,
The ladies want it all, they want the sex.
They want his body and they love his smile,
They love the fact that it lasts for a while.

He takes them home, they leave their number,
He’s no Lloyd Christmas from Dumb & Dumber.
He doesn’t chase the ones he can’t get,
For that number is zero, he’s a chick magnet.

He takes those old numbers and throws them away,
Cuz he knows he’ll meet a new girl each day.
He’s like a king, or even Harry Potter,
He casts a spell, they keep getting hotter.

They want rub him, they want the pickle,
He makes them giddy, they feel a tickle,
It runs down their thighs, they sigh ‘not yet,’
But it’s too late, he makes their panties wet.

But it’s not just the ladies that get this affection,
Every time I see him I get an erection.
He gives me the shakes, he gives me the quivers,
Yes! Me, Matty Rivers.

He’s such a stud, he’s such a pimp,
I try so hard but I can’t stay limp,
Enough about me, let’s get back to the girls,
As Feldmore does his push ups, his pull ups, and his curls.

He pumps some iron, he lifts lots of weight,
He’s got 34 shorties all wanting a date.
They want him to bite, they want him to spank,
I know milk does a body good, but girl, how much milk do you draaaaaaank!?!????!?

Chief Staff Writer, Otis Terry Sanderson