ODE TO A LADIES-MAN

Volume 4 – The "Studly" Edition


Rufus Charles Feldmore, or to some just Chuck,
This man, the ladies sure love to ****.
He's got it all, he's the whole package,
He's the guy of your dreams, without all the baggage.

He'll take you home, and your sister he's into,
Maybe even your mom, and your Grandma too.
He'll bag them all without a second thought,
He'll cheat on you everyday, and not even get caught.

He's smooth, he's witty, he's extremely dreamy,
"You can try all night, but you can't beat me."
That's what he says, his motto, his claim to fame,
He's confident, not cocky, and he's going to bang that dame.

He's an Italian Stallion, the best of his breed,
He's savvy and sweet, not creepy like Creed.
How does he do it? How's he got all the charm?
He's a hockey player, and grew up on a farm.

He's a champion stud, this is for sure,
But he's also known for his brewing grandeur.
He loves to take shots, especially of girls,
They're all lined up for this special thrill.

He brews hard, often too long,
Where he wakes up with a girl, half past dawn.
No clue the age, or even the name,
"Hit the road," he says, as she does the Walk of Shame.

He takes a little nap, perhaps a shower and food,
Before he starts this process over, with some Jack and some brew.
For him double fisting isn't a brewing technique,
It's when he uses both hands to touch the girl's pink.

You may have found a girl, a fiancé you mentioned,
But it doesn't really matter, they're all Matt's sloppy seconds.
He's a man among boys, a cure for cancer,
He's a professional romancer, and dynamite dancer.

~Chief Writer,
~Carrie Oakey