BREWSTER CREEPBALL, SLEEZE

New York City, NY (AP): The clock ticks 11pm, and the bars of full of guidos. They’re full of jocks with that fake Long Island accent. They’re full of creeps. They’re full of Luther Brewsters.

It was March 11, approximately 11:28pm when Carrie Oakey, Otis Sanderson, Stamford Branch, and Yashur al Faqur (go figure) enter the bar, meeting up with Luther Brewster, before leaving the next day at 4am for Jamaica. Yashur went straight to the bar, while the others decided to greet their host, Luther Brewster. They shared some brews, laughed, met girls, and were off to a fantastic spring break. Then he entered the fray. Luther “the creeper” Brewster came alive.

“It was weird. I’d never really met the guy before, but had really high expectations. I was talking to these two girls, and all of a sudden he came out of nowhere, put his arm around both of the girls, and tried to pick them up. They immediately left, and I never saw them again. Needless to say, he flat out blocked my c0ck,” describes Carrie Oakey. And that’s how it all started.

Stamford Branch had similar results. “I was hittin on this shorty, and I saw him coming,” explains Branch. “I thought to myself, ‘Oh no, don’t do it,’ but as I finished my thought, his arm was around my girl. He tried dropping some game, but it just wasn’t working for him. Next thing I know, she says, ‘Well, I just remembered, I need to go meet my friend.’ It was a blatant lie, but I didn’t blame her…he would have crept me out too,” says Branch, shaking his head.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure that’s how the term came about,” recalls Otis Sanderson, long time friend of Luther Brewster. “After that, whenever we saw a real creep, we would say, ‘That guy is such a Luther Brewster,’” laughs Otis. “And it kinda stuck. People still often use that term, and everyone knows what it means.”

“Well, I didn’t do it to Yashur,” argues Luther Brewster, trying to prove he’s not a creep. And I hate to admit it, but he’s sort of right. He didn’t do it to Yashur. How could he…Yashur wasn’t even talking to girls. He was too busy drinking.

Associated Press Writer, Otis Terrance Sanderson